The Colgate Ring of Confidence

Skived work this morning to go for a dental checkup.


Dentist: Lovely! It's so nice to see someone who looks after their teeth. So unlike the English. Are you English?


Me: Mmmmf, grrrn-aaarm.


Why do dentists insist on asking you questions when you've got a mouth full of metal, mirrors, scrapers and their fingers?


Still, it's good to know that my smile is still diamond-bright. Essential for beaming insincerity at all the cretins that wander into the reception of Clerkenwell Towers.
1.12.03 13:12


"Thank you so much for your interest..."

I went for a casting yesterday. I fucking hate auditions. Especially when the director obviously thinks you're wrong for the part but makes you go through the whole rigmarole anyway.


So I had to read the ropey script to camera, in a Scouse accent, feeling like a tit.


Just got an email saying that he's sorry but he "won't be requiring (my) talents for (crappy short film)".


I didn't really want the job. I wasn't right for it. I probably didn't even have time to do it, what with the day job and my whirl of a social life. And yet, and yet, and yet....



Why is it that every rejection feels like this?
1.12.03 14:10


Looking through my fingers

I'm going to see the Director's Cut of 'Alien' tonight, with my mate Jarvis. He doesn't know what he's letting himself in for. I am such a wuss when it comes to horror. I must have been the only person who actually screamed in 'Scream'. Watching 'Critters' still gives me the jitters. And I've never dared to watch 'Nightmare on Elm Street' because I just know it would give me baaaad dreams. I think even this film would freak me out:



So I think tonight I'll be jumping and grabbing Jarvis' arm in an alarmingly girly way. Oh, the shame.

1.12.03 16:26


Today's poll

Kittens: Cute balls of fluff, or insane, power-crazed tyrants?



Discuss.
1.12.03 17:25


Chest burster

I feel cruddy today. I feel like an alien has taken up residence in my guts. Apparently there is a stomach bug going round. This doesn't reassure me after having seen John Hurt succumb to "indigestion" in 'Alien' last night...


 "I told you not to eat that out-of-date chicken."


I did do a lot of jumping and yelping during the film, much to Jarvis' amusement. I was pretty freaked out for the rest of the evening, especially when I arrived back at my flat to be greeted by our resident ginger cat, who seemed strangely skittery....



"Heeeeere, Jonesy..."
2.12.03 14:07


Oooh, Matron

Sometimes there are gooooood aspects to this job.


Right now, for instance, I am watching "Carry On Doctor" on the reception TV, which is normally tuned into M-bloody-TV.


Head Honcho: What's this?


Me: It's...er... it's "Carry On Doctor".


Head Honcho: Oh, brilliant. Do you know, Sid James is the unofficial face of Clerkenwell Towers. Good job YAAGers. Carry on, as you were, pip pip and all that.


Me: Huzzah!


 


So it's a Jim Dale fest for me until I slope off at 4pm. Rock on.



 
2.12.03 15:53


Hurry up Saturday

I'm going to a big party in Cambridge this weekend to celebrate my mates Phil and Claire turning 30. It is a "Great Gatsby" party, so everyone has to come in 1920s/30s costume.


I - adore - dressing - up (it's probably one of the reasons I became an actor, if I'm hones). So I've rather gone to town on my costume. I've got a fringed 'flapper' dress. Seamed stockings. Authentic jewellery. Jez is getting me a cigarette holder. But the pièce de résistance is my wig. It is possibly the greatest thing in my world right now. I can't stop trying it on. Every time I go into my room, I have to put on the wig and strike poses in the mirror. I become Louise Brooks. Even if I'm only wearing my pyjamas.



Look, she even does the same pouty thing with her mouth as I do. I think we must be time-twins. Fraternal, obviously.
3.12.03 17:44


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